so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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