My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
