This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
