There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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