she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
