if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
