No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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