Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
