Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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