i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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