This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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