you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
