It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
