a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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