Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
