I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
