yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
