My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
