5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Randomize
