If that was your dad, he is hot
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
