just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
