Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
