Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
