Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
