i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
