I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
