Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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