i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
