Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
