watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
