did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
