May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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