so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
