i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
