I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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