Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
