So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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