A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
