He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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