He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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