And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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