I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
wow bdsm is so cute
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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