I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
do herpes really smell.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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