Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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