What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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