I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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