but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
