it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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