I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
