i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
