turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
