he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
