Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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